第二章

主以多種方式喚醒靈魂；雖然這些都是崇高性質的恩惠，卻沒有理由驚慌。

1. 主增進靈魂對祂的渴慕。 2. 愛的創傷。 3. 它所引起的苦楚。 4. 淨配的召喚。 5. 對靈魂的衝擊。 6. 愛的火星。 7. 火星熄滅。 8. 這恩惠顯然出於天主。 9. 一次這樣的創傷抵得過許多考驗。 10. 不受欺騙的第一個原因。 11. 第二和第三個原因。 12. 想像力無法偽造這恩惠。 13. 聖女大德蘭的看法。 14. 香氣的比喻。 15. 沒有苦楚的另一種恩惠。

1. 好像我們許久拋下了那隻小鴿子，其實不然——過去那些考驗正是讓她飛得更高的憑藉。現在我要描述淨配在與靈魂完全結合之前，如何對待她。他以極為細膩微妙的方式增進她對他的渴慕，連靈魂自身都無法察覺；我想除了親身體驗過的人，我也不知道如何向其他人說明。這些渴望是從靈魂最深處湧現的細膩微妙的衝動；我不知道有什麼能夠比擬。

2. 這些恩惠與我們自己所能獲得的一切截然不同，甚至與前面所述的靈性安慰也大相逕庭。²²⁸在此情況下，即使心智未曾收斂，甚至沒有在思念天主，雖未聽見任何聲音，陛下卻會突然喚醒她，如同一道迅速閃過的流星，或一聲雷鳴。²²⁹然而被天主如此召喚的靈魂聽得十分清楚——如此清楚，以至於有時，尤其在起初，她會顫抖，甚至不由自主地呼喊出來，雖然並不感到疼痛。她意識到自己受了一道甜美的傷，卻說不清是如何受傷、也不知是誰給的，然而她認出這是最寶貴的恩惠，盼望這傷口永遠不要癒合。

3. 靈魂向其淨配發出溫柔的抱怨，甚至出聲說出；她無法自制，因為她知道他雖然臨在，卻不願顯示自己讓她享受他。這帶來一種切膚的苦痛，雖甜蜜可口，靈魂縱使願意也無法逃脫——但她從未有此願望。²³⁰這恩惠比寧靜祈禱中那種官能愉悅的沉浸更為甜美，那沉浸是沒有苦楚相伴的。²³¹

4. 姊妹們，我真不知如何讓你們明白這愛的運作，實在不知從何說起。說淨配清楚地表明他居住在靈魂內，以不容誤認的信號和穿透人心的召喚——使靈魂不得不聽見——卻似乎又住在第七重居所，這話聽來矛盾。他以這種方式說話，不是固定的言辭，而其他居所的居民——感官、想像和各項官能——都不敢妄動。²³²

5. 全能的天主啊！祢的秘密何等深奧，屬靈之事與世間所見所聞的一切又是何等迥異！我找不到任何東西能比擬這些恩惠——儘管與祢賜予靈魂的許多其他恩惠相比，它們只是微不足道。這恩惠對靈魂的衝擊如此強烈，使她充滿渴望卻不知求什麼，因為她清楚地意識到她的天主就在她身旁。你們也許要問：她既然如此清楚地意識到，還渴望什麼，又為何受苦？她還能尋求什麼更大的善？我說不出：我只知道這苦楚似乎刺穿了心的最深處，那使她受傷的人拔出標箭時，好像也把心一並帶走了，如此深沉是她所感受到的愛。²³³

6. 我想到天主可以比作一座熊熊燃燒的熔爐，²³⁴一粒小火星飛入靈魂，靈魂感受到這巨大火焰的熱力，但尚不足以將她焚盡。那感覺如此甜美，使靈魂沉浸在接觸所帶來的苦痛中不願離去。我想這是我所能找到的最好比喻；這苦痛是甜蜜的，其實並非真正的痛苦，也不是始終保持同樣的程度：有時持續很長時間，有時很快就過去。一切由天主決定，人力無法取得；雖有時持續相當一段時間，卻是間歇性的。

7. 這火從不持久，因此不能使靈魂完全燃燒；但當靈魂正要著火時，那小火星忽然熄滅，只留下心靈渴望再次承受那愛的傷痛。沒有任何理由認為這來自自然原因、憂鬱症，或是魔鬼或想像力的幻覺。這心靈的震動無疑來自不變的天主；其效果也不像其他虔敬中那種強烈的喜悅沉浸，讓人懷疑其真實性。

8. 這裡感官或其他官能並未暫停；它們對所發生的事感到驚奇，卻並不阻礙它。我也不認為它們能增加或消散這甜美的苦痛。凡曾蒙吾主賜予這恩惠的人，讀到此處便會明白我的意思：讓她熱切地感謝他。不必擔心受騙，更應擔心的是對如此特殊的恩惠缺乏足夠的感謝。讓她努力事奉他，在各方面改善生活；然後她就會看到接下來會發生什麼，以及如何獲得越來越高的恩賜。

9. 我認識一個人，蒙此恩惠之後好幾年未曾領受其他恩惠，卻心滿意足；因為縱使她在嚴峻的考驗中事奉天主許多年，也會覺得這報酬已是綽綽有餘。願他永受讚頌！阿們。

10. 也許你們想知道，為何在這恩惠上我們比在其他情況下更能確信沒有受騙。我認為原因如下。首先，魔鬼無法給予這種甜蜜的苦痛：它可以給予看似屬靈的快樂或喜悅，卻無法添加苦楚，尤其是這種切膚的苦楚，與靈魂的平安和喜樂融為一體的苦楚。它的力量只限於外在事物；由它所引起的苦楚從不伴隨平安，而是伴隨焦慮和掙扎。

11. 其次，這令人歡喜的風暴來自撒旦無法管轄的領域。第三，因為它在靈魂中留下的巨大益處——靈魂通常因此下定決心為天主受苦，並渴望承擔許多十字架。她比以前更堅決地遠離世俗的享樂、往來及其他類似的事。

12. 這顯然並非幻想：想像力也許能偽造某些恩惠，卻偽造不了這個，因為它太清晰明確，沒有任何懷疑的餘地。²³⁵若仍有人拿不準，她應知道自己的衝動並非真實的；這是說，若她對自己是否真的體驗到這些感到猶豫——因為這些被靈魂感受到，就像耳朵聽到響亮聲音一樣確切。這些體驗不可能來自憂鬱症，憂鬱症的幻想只在想像中產生，而這情感卻來自靈魂的內裡。

13. 我也許有誤，但在聽到明白這些事的人提出相反理由之前，我不會改變看法。我認識一個人，她一向對這類欺騙深感畏懼，但對這種祈禱狀態卻始終無法感到任何不安。²³⁶

14. 主還藉著其他方式喚醒靈魂；例如，某人在誦念口禱而未尋求深入默想其意義時，忽然被一種愉悅的熱情所攫住，²³⁷彷彿突然被一種濃烈到能瀰漫所有感官的芬芳所包圍。我並非主張確實有香味，而是借用這個比喻，因為它在某種程度上類似於淨配讓人感受到他臨在的方式，使靈魂湧現渴望享受他的甜美願望，因此預備好行英勇的行為，使她熱切地讚頌他。

15. 這恩惠與前者同出一源，但在此沒有苦楚，靈魂渴望享受天主的心情也不帶痛苦：這是靈魂更常有的體驗。基於已述的理由，此處似乎沒有理由感到恐懼，倒應該以感恩之心領受。

TREATS OF SEVERAL WAYS WHEREBY OUR LORD QUICKENS THE SOUL; THERE APPEARS NO CAUSE FOR ALARM IN THEM ALTHOUGH THEY ARE SIGNAL FAVOURS OF A VERY EXALTED NATURE.

1. Our Lord excites the love of His spouse. 2. The wound of love. 3. The pain it causes. 4. The call of the Bridegroom. 5. Effect on the soul. 6. A spark of the fire of love. 7. The spark dies out. 8. This grace evidently divine. 9. One such wound repays many trials. 10. First reason of immunity from deception. 11. Second and third reasons. 12. The imagination not concerned in it. 13. St. Teresa never alarmed at this prayer. 14. ‘The odour of Thine ointment.’ 15. No reason to fear deception here.

1. IT seems as if we had deserted the little dove for a long time, but this is not the case, for these past trials cause her to take a far higher flight. I will now describe the way in which the Spouse treats her before uniting her entirely to Himself. He increases her longing for Him by devices so delicate that the soul itself cannot discern them; nor do I think I could explain them except to people who have personally experienced them. These desires are delicate and subtle impulses springing from the inmost depths of the soul; I know of nothing to which they can be compared.

2. These graces differ entirely from anything we ourselves can gain, and even from the spiritual consolation before described.²²⁸ In the present case, even when the mind is not recollected or even thinking of God, although no sound is heard, His Majesty arouses it suddenly as if by a swiftly flashing comet or by a clap of thunder.²²⁹ Yet the soul thus called by God hears Him well enough—so well, indeed, that sometimes, especially at first, it trembles and even cries out, although it feels no pain. It is conscious of having received a delicious wound but cannot discover how, nor who gave it, yet recognizes it as a most precious grace and hopes the hurt will never heal.

3. The soul makes amorous complaints to its Bridegroom, even uttering them aloud; nor can it control itself, knowing that though He is present He will not manifest Himself so that it may enjoy Him. This causes a pain, keen although sweet and delicious from which the soul could not escape even if it wished; but this it never desires.²³⁰ This favour is more delightful than the pleasing absorption of the faculties in the prayer of quiet which is unaccompanied by suffering.²³¹

4. I am at my wits’ end, sisters, as to how to make you understand this operation of love: I know not how to do so. It seems contradictory to say that the Beloved clearly shows He dwells in the soul and calls by so unmistakable a sign and a summons so penetrating, that the spirit cannot choose but hear it, while He appears to reside in the seventh mansion. He speaks in this manner, which is not a set form of speech, and the inhabitants of the other mansions, the senses, the imagination and the faculties, dare not stir.²³²

5. O Almighty God! how profound are Thy secrets and how different are spiritual matters from anything that can be seen or heard in this world! I can find nothing to which to liken these graces, insignificant as they are compared with many others Thou dost bestow on souls. This favour acts so strongly upon the spirit that it is consumed by desires yet knows not what to ask, for it realizes clearly that its God is with it. You may inquire, if it realizes this so clearly, what more does it desire and why is it pained? What greater good can it seek? I cannot tell: I know that this suffering seems to pierce the very heart, and when He Who wounded it draws out the dart He seems to draw the heart out too, so deep is the love it feels.²³³

6. I have been thinking that God might be likened to a burning furnace²³⁴ from which a small spark flies into the soul that feels the heat of this great fire, which, however, is insufficient to consume it. The sensation is so delightful that the spirit lingers in the pain produced by its contact. This seems to me the best comparison I can find, for the pain is delicious and is not really pain at all, nor does it always continue in the same degree; sometimes it lasts for a long time; on other occasions it passes quickly. This is as God chooses, for no human means can obtain it; and though felt at times for a long while, yet it is intermittent.

7. In fact it is never permanent and therefore does not wholly inflame the spirit; but when the soul is ready to take fire, the little spark suddenly dies out, leaving the heart longing to suffer anew its loving pangs. No grounds exist for thinking this comes from any natural cause or from melancholy, or that it is an illusion of the devil or the imagination. Undoubtedly this movement of the heart comes from God Who is unchangeable; nor do its effects is resemble those of other devotions in which the strong absorption of delight makes us doubt their reality.

8. There is no suspension here of the senses or other faculties: they wonder at what is happening, without impeding it. Nor do I think that they can either increase or dispel this delightful pain. Any one who has received this favour from our Lord will understand my meaning on reading this: let her thank Him fervently: there is no need to fear deception but far more fear of not being sufficiently grateful for so signal a grace. Let her endeavour to serve Him and to amend her life in every respect; then she will see what will follow and how she will obtain still higher and higher gifts.

9. A person on whom this grace was bestowed passed several years without receiving any other favour, yet was perfectly satisfied, for even had she served God for very many years in the midst of severe trials, she would have felt abundantly repaid. May He be for ever blessed! Amen.

10. Perhaps you wonder why we may feel more secure against deception concerning this favour than in other cases. I think it is for these reasons. Firstly, because the devil cannot give such delicious pain: he may cause pleasure or delight which appears spiritual but is unable to add suffering, especially suffering of so keen a sort, united to peace and joy of soul. His power is limited to what is external; suffering produced by him is never accompanied with peace, but with anxieties and struggles.

11. Secondly, because this welcome storm comes from no region over which Satan has control. Thirdly, because of the great benefits left in the soul which, as a rule, is resolute to suffer for God and longs to bear many crosses. It is also far more determined than before to withdraw from worldly pleasures and intercourse and other things of the same sort.

12. It is very clear that this is no fiction: the imagination may counterfeit some favours but not this, which is too manifest to leave room for doubt. Should any one still remain uncertain, let her know that hers were not genuine impulses;²³⁵ that is, if she is dubious as to whether or no she experienced them, for they are as certainly perceived by the soul as is a loud voice by the ears. It is impossible for these experiences to proceed from melancholy whose whims arise and exist only in the imagination, whereas this emotion comes from the interior of the soul.

13. I may be mistaken, but I shall not change my opinion until I hear reasons to the contrary from those who understand these matters. I know some one who has always greatly dreaded such deceptions, yet could never bring herself to feel any alarm about this state of prayer.²³⁶

14. Our Lord also uses other means of rousing the soul; for instance—when reciting vocal prayer without seeking to penetrate the sense, a person may be seized with a delightful fervour²³⁷ as if suddenly encompassed with a fragrance powerful enough to diffuse itself through all the senses. I do not assert that there really is any perfume but use this comparison because it somewhat resembles the manner by which the Spouse makes His presence understood, moving the soul to a delicious desire of enjoying Him and thus disposing it to heroic acts, and causing it to render Him fervent praise.

15. This favour springs from the same source as the former, but causes no suffering here, nor are the soul’s longings to enjoy God painful: this is what is more usually experienced by the soul. For the reasons already given there appears no cause here for fear, but rather for receiving it with thanksgiving.