第一章

論靈魂在祈禱中與天主的結合。如何確認此事不是受騙。

1. 第五重居所的恩寵。2. 努力用功之道。3. 結合祈禱對身體的影響。4. 理智的驚歎。5. 結合祈禱與安靜祈禱的對比。6. 神聖的結合與世俗的結合。7. 須有嫻熟靈修之道的神師引領。8. 結合祈禱的確證。9. 留在靈魂內的信保。10. 神聖的結合超越人力所能企及。

1. 我的姊妹們，該如何描述第五重居所所蘊藏的財富、寶藏和喜樂呢？對此隻字不提，豈不更好？這些事既無從描繪，心智也無法想像，任何比喻都難以呈現——塵世一切皆太卑微，全然難以企及。吾主啊，求祢從天上賜我光明，讓我能把一些給予這些為祢服務的姊妹——她們其中有些人出於祢的恩賜，常常領受這些喜樂——免得魔鬼假扮成光明天使，欺騙了那些一心只想取悅祢的人。

2. 我說「有些」，但其實幾乎沒有¹⁵⁴人從未進入這重居所；有的多、有的少，但大多數人至少都可以說進入了這幾間房室。我認為，我接下來要講的某些恩寵，只賜給修女當中少數幾位；但若其他人只到了門前，天主賜給她們的也已是莫大的恩惠，因為「被召的人多，被選的人少。」¹⁵⁵我們所有穿著加爾默羅聖衣的人，都是被召走祈禱與默觀之路的；這是本會的目標，¹⁵⁶這是我們的家世。我們在加爾默羅山上的聖祖們，以絕對的隱修和對世界的全然輕視，去尋求我們所說的這件寶貝、這顆無價的珍珠。¹⁵⁷我們是他們的後裔，我們當中卻有多少人並不在意預備靈魂，好讓吾主把這珍寶顯示給我們！表面上我們或許修練了應有的德行，但在達到默觀之前，還有更多要做的事。為了得到默觀，我們不應忽略任何大小方法。振作吧，我的姊妹們！天上的幸福在世上已可先嘗，求上主給我們恩寵，不要因自己的錯失了它。求祂指引我們去哪裡尋找，也求祂賜給我們靈魂的力量，好讓我們挖掘，直到找到埋在我們心中的這寶藏——倘若天主助我，我希望能讓你們明白這一點。我說「靈魂的力量」，是要你們明白：若吾主天主選擇不給，肉體的力量並非不可或缺——祂不讓任何人沒有機會得到這財富，只要求每個人盡其所能即可。願這位公義的天主受讚美！

3. 可是，女兒們，若你們想購得我們所談的這件寶貝，天主要你們不向祂保留任何東西，無論大小；祂要全部。¹⁵⁸你們知道自己給出了多少，賞報就有多大或多小。沒有比這更確定的標誌，可以讓我們判斷自己有沒有到達結合祈禱。不要以為這種祈禱狀態和前一種一樣，只是某種昏昏欲睡的感覺——我說「昏昏欲睡」，是因為靈魂彷彿在打瞌睡，既不完全入睡，也沒有全然清醒。在結合祈禱裡，靈魂是真的睡著了，對世界和自身都沉沉入眠；事實上，在這狀態持續的短暫時間內，靈魂被剝奪了一切感覺，就算想思量任何事情，也辦不到。此時無須努力壓制思緒；靈魂若能愛，也不知是怎麼愛的，不知愛的是誰，也不知自己想要什麼。事實上，它已對這世界全然死去，好讓它更真實地活在天主內。這是一種甘甜的死亡，因為靈魂被剝奪了它在身體中所運作的諸般能力，¹⁵⁹這甘甜是因為——雖然實際並非如此——靈魂彷彿已離開它的肉身外殼，好在天主內更完全地安住。這結合如此徹底，以致我不曉得身體是否還保有足夠的生命氣息繼續呼吸；仔細想想，我相信是沒有的；就算還在呼吸，那也是不自知的。

4. 理智完全集中，竭力想弄懂正在發生的事，卻力不從心；它如此驚愕，就算還沒完全失去知覺，至少也不可能有任何動作——此人可以比作一個因驚駭而直直昏倒的人。¹⁶⁰

5. 哦，天主那廣大無量的奧祕！若我想得通能夠成功，講解這些事永遠不會讓我厭倦！我願意寫下一千件蠢話，其中若有一件切中要害，只要能使我們更加讚美天主就好了。我說這種祈禱不會讓理智昏昏欲睡；反之，前一重居所所描述的安靜祈禱，若靈魂沒有豐富的經驗，往往不確定自己究竟經歷了什麼：「是空想？是睡著了？是來自天主，還是魔鬼假扮成光明天使？」理智千般疑慮，這是好事，因為正如我說的，在這情況下本性有時會欺騙我們。雖然那些有毒的爬蟲幾乎進不來，但靈巧的小蜥蜴總想溜進來，雖然它們傷不了什麼，尤其若沒被理睬的話。這些所謂的小蜥蜴，是想像力那些細碎的幻思，常常非常令人困擾。但不管這些小蜥蜴多靈活，都進不了第五重居所，因為想像力、理智和記憶在此都無力阻礙賜予靈魂的恩寵。6. 我敢斷言，若這是與天主的真實結合，魔鬼便無法插手、無法傷害，因為至尊陛下與靈魂的本質如此緊密結合，以致那惡者不敢靠近，甚至無法理解這奧祕。這是確定的，因為有人說魔鬼不知道人的思想，更何況是天主連我們自己都未啟示的這個深奧秘密。¹⁶¹哦，蒙福的境界，那詛咒之敵在此無法傷害我們！當天主如此在我們內運作，連我們自己和任何人都無法阻礙祂時，我們得到何等的財富！這位那麼渴望給予、能賜給我們祂所願賜一切的天主，豈不會大量施予？你們也許對我「若這是真實的結合」這句話感到困惑，彷彿還有其他的結合。確實有——不是與天主，而是與虛榮的結合：魔鬼把熱衷於虛榮的靈魂挾帶到那裡；但那種結合和神聖的結合截然不同，心靈缺少神聖結合的喜悅、滿足、平安和幸福。這些天上的神慰遠超世上一切喜樂、歡愉和滿足。它們的根源與屬世歡樂的根源之間的差距，就像它們截然相反的效果一樣，你們從經驗便可知曉。

7. 我曾在某處說過¹⁶²：前者彷彿只觸及肉身表面，後者則深入骨髓；我相信這說法是對的，再找不到更好的表達了。我覺得你們對此仍不安心，怕有受騙的危險，因為靈修事物確實很難解釋清楚。不過，對於已領受此恩的人，所說的已足夠，因為神聖結合與任何其他結合的差異是非常明顯的。不過，我還是給你們一個清楚的憑據，既不會讓你們走錯，也不讓你們懷疑這恩惠是否來自天主。至尊陛下就在今天把這事放入我的記憶，在我看來這是個確無疑問的標誌。在困難的問題上，雖然我認為自己明白並且說的是事實，我仍習慣說「在我看來」；因為萬一我的看法有誤，我很願意服從神學家的判斷。他們或許對這類事情沒有親身體驗，但用某種我不理解的方式，天主讓他們去照亮祂的教會，使他們在道理擺在眼前時能認出真理。若他們不是輕率或不虔誠的人，而是天主的僕人，就不會對天主奇妙的作為感到驚慌，因為他們非常清楚地知道，天主有能力行更大的奇事。即便有些奇事對他們是陌生的，他們也讀過同類的事，說明那些事是可能的。我對此有許多親身體驗，也遇過膽怯、知識不足的人，他們的無知讓我付出了很大的代價。¹⁶³我深信，那些拒絕相信天主能行更多奇事、並相信祂今日仍如昔日一樣樂於向祂受造物傳達自己的人，其實是把自己的心封閉起來，不讓自己領受這樣的恩寵。姊妹們，不要效仿她們；要相信天主仍能行更大的奇事。不必在意領受這些恩寵的人是善是惡——正如我說的，祂最清楚，這不是你們的事；你們應一心一意地事奉祂，謙遜自持，讚美祂的作為與奇事。¹⁶⁴

8. 現在我們來談談證明結合祈禱為真實的標誌。正如你們所見，天主此時剝奪靈魂的所有感官，好能更清楚地把真正的智慧印在靈魂內：這狀態持續期間，靈魂既看不見、聽不到，也什麼都不明白，而這從來不超過極短暫的時間；¹⁶⁵對靈魂而言，感覺比實際短得多。天主以一種方式眷顧靈魂，使它在回到自己後，不再懷疑自己曾居於祂內、祂也在它內，而它對這真理的確信如此牢固，以致縱然多年過去這份恩惠未再重來，靈魂也永遠不能忘記，也不會懷疑這一事實。¹⁶⁶至於這祈禱所留下的效果，我後面會提及；靈魂的這份確信才是要點所在。

9. 但你們或許要問：一個目不能視、耳不能聞的人，怎能看見¹⁶⁷或知道這些事？我不是說她在那時見到，而是說她事後清楚地感知到——不是藉著異象，而是憑藉留在心中、唯有天主才能賜予的確信。我認識一個人，她本來不知道天主以臨在、大能和本質駐居萬物之內，卻因這樣的神聖恩惠而對此深信不疑。¹⁶⁸她去請教一位我先前提到那種知識不足的司鐸，問他天主是以怎樣的方式居在我們內；他對這問題同她在上主啟示她之前一樣無知，回答說全能者只是藉著恩寵臨在我們內。¹⁶⁹然而她在祈禱中所學到的真理的確信是如此強烈，以致她不相信他，轉而詢問其他靈修人士，後者確認了她的正確信念，使她大為喜悅。不要誤以為這種靈魂確知天主眷顧它的把握，是關於某種肉身的臨在，例如吾主耶穌基督居住在聖體聖事中雖我們看不見；這裡所說的只關乎天主性本體的臨在。我們若沒見到，怎能如此確定？這我不知道——這是全能天主的作為，我確信我所說的是事實。我堅持：一個靈魂若沒有這份確信，就不是全然地與天主結合，只是一種官能與祂結合，或是領受了天主慣常恩賜人的許多其他恩惠之一。在所有這類事上，我們不必探究事情如何發生——理智無法領悟，何苦為此煩惱？知道是祂、全能的天主，行了這工，便已足夠。這份恩惠不是靠我們自己所能得到的，唯獨來自天主；所以不必努力去理解它。

10. 說到我所說的「我們靠自己無能為力」，我想到《雅歌》中新娘的話——你們一定記得聽過：「君王領我進入他的酒窖，」¹⁷⁰（或者說「把我安置」，我想她是這樣說的）；她沒有說是自己走進去的，雖然她告訴我們她曾在四處奔尋她的愛人。¹⁷¹我認為，結合祈禱就是那個「酒窖」，吾主按祂的時機和方式把我們帶進去，而我們憑己力進不去。唯有至尊陛下才能帶我們到那裡，進入我們靈魂的中心。為了更清楚地彰顯祂奇妙的作為，祂不讓我們在此分享任何東西，只要我們的意志與祂的意志完全符合、萬事皆棄；祂不需要諸官能或感官為祂開門——它們全都沉睡了。祂進入我們靈魂的最深處，不需要門，正如祂進入門關著的房間向門徒說「願你們平安」，¹⁷²也如祂從墓穴中出來而沒有移開封住入口的石頭。你們後來在第七重居所會更清楚地看到，天主如何使靈魂在它的中心享受祂的臨在。哦，女兒們，若我們常把自己的卑微軟弱放在眼前，認識自己如何不配做那位奇事超越我們理解的偉大主宰的婢女，我們將看到何等的奇事！願祂永受讚美！阿們。

BEGINS TO TREAT OF THE UNION OF THE SOUL WITH GOD IN PRAYER. HOW TO BE SURE THAT WE ARE NOT DECEIVED IN THIS MATTER.

1. Graces of the fifth mansions. 2. Contemplation to be striven for. 3. Physical effects of the Prayer of union. 4. Amazement of the intellect. 5. The Prayer of union and of quiet contrasted. 6. Divine and earthly union. 7. Competent directors in these matters. 8. Proof of union. 9. Assurance left in the soul. 10. Divine union beyond our Power to obtain.

1. OH, my sisters, how shall I describe the riches, treasures, and joys contained in the fifth mansions! Would it not be better to say nothing about them? They are impossible to depict, nor can the mind conceive, nor any comparisons portray them, all earthly things being too vile to serve the purpose. Send me, O my Lord, light from heaven that I may give some to these Thy servants, some of whom by Thy good will often enjoy these delights, lest the devil in the guise of an angel of light should deceive those whose only desire is to please Thee.

2. I said ‘some,’ but in reality there are very few¹⁵⁴ who never enter this mansion: some more and some less, but most of them may be said at least to gain admittance into these rooms. I think that certain graces I am about to describe are bestowed on only a few of the nuns, but if the rest only arrive at the portal they receive a great boon from God, for ‘many are called, but few are chosen.’¹⁵⁵ All we who wear the holy habit of the Carmelites are called to prayer and contemplation. This was the object of our Order,¹⁵⁶ to this lineage we belong. Our holy Fathers of Mount Carmel sought in perfect solitude and utter contempt of the world for this treasure, this precious pearl,¹⁵⁷ of which we speak, and we are their descendants. How little do most of us care to prepare our souls, that our Lord may reveal this jewel to us! Outwardly we may appear to practise the requisite virtues, but we have far more to do than this before it is possible to attain to contemplation, to gain which we should neglect no means, either small or great. Rouse yourselves, my sisters, and since some foretaste of heaven may be had on earth, beg our Lord to give us grace not to miss it through our own fault. Ask Him to show us where to find it—ask Him to give us strength of soul to dig until we find this hidden treasure, which lies buried within our hearts, as I wish to show you if it please God to enable me. I said ‘strength of soul,’ that you might understand that strength of body is not indispensable when our Lord God chooses to withhold it. He makes it impossible for no one to gain these riches, but is content that each should do his best. Blessed be so just a God!

3. But, daughters, if you would purchase this treasure of which we are speaking, God would have you keep back nothing from Him, little or great. He will have it all;¹⁵⁸ in proportion to what you know you have given will your reward be great or small. There is no more certain sign whether or not we have reached the prayer of union. Do not imagine that this state of prayer is, like the one preceding it, a sort of drowsiness (I call it ’drowsiness’ because the soul seems to slumber, being neither quite asleep nor wholly awake). In the prayer of union the soul is asleep, fast asleep, as regards the world and itself: in fact, during the short time this state lasts it is deprived of all feeling whatever, being unable to think on any subject, even if it wished. No effort is needed here to suspend the thoughts: if the soul can love it knows not how, nor whom it loves, nor what it desires. In fact, it has died entirely to this world, to live more truly than ever in God. This is a delicious death, for the soul is deprived of the faculties it exercised while in the body:¹⁵⁹ delicious because, (although not really the case), it seems to have left its mortal covering to abide more entirely in God. So completely does this take place, that I know not whether the body retains sufficient life to continue breathing; on consideration, I believe it does not; at any rate, if it still breathes, it does so unconsciously.

4. The mind entirely concentrates itself on trying to understand what is happening, which is beyond its power; it is so astounded that, if consciousness is not completely lost, at least no movement is possible: the person may be compared to one who falls into a dead faint with dismay.¹⁶⁰

5. Oh, mighty secrets of God! Never should I weary of trying to explain them if I thought it possible to succeed! I would write a thousand foolish things that one might be to the point, if only it might make us praise God more. I said this prayer produced no drowsiness in the mind; on the other hand, in the prayer (of quiet) described in the last mansion, until the soul has gained much experience it doubts what really happened to it. ‘Was it nothing but fancy, or was it a sleep? Did it come from God or from the devil, disguised as an angel of light?’ The mind feels a thousand misgivings, and well for it that it should, because, at I said, nature may sometimes deceive us in this case. Although there is little chance of the poisonous reptiles entering here, yet agile little lizards will try to slip in, though they can do no harm, especially if they remain unnoticed. These, as I said, are trivial fancies of the imagination, which are often very troublesome. However active these small lizards may be, they cannot enter the fifth mansion, for neither the imagination, the understanding, nor the memory has power to hinder the graces bestowed on it. 6. I dare venture to assert that, if this is genuine union with God, the devil cannot interfere nor do any harm, for His Majesty is so joined and united with the essence of the soul, that the evil one dare not approach, nor can he even understand this mystery. This is certain, for it is said that the devil does not know our thoughts, much less can he penetrate a secret so profound that God does not reveal it even to us.¹⁶¹ Oh, blessed state, in which this cursed one cannot injure us! What riches we receive while God so works in us that neither we ourselves nor any one else can impede Him! What will He not bestow, Who is so eager to give, and Who can give us all He desires! You may perhaps have been puzzled at my saying ‘if this is genuine union with God,’ as if there might be other unions. There are indeed—not with God, but with vanities—when the devil transports the soul passionately addicted to them, but the union differs from that which is divine and the mind misses the delight and satisfaction, peace and happiness of divine union. These heavenly consolations are above all earthly joys, pleasure, and satisfaction. As great a difference exists between their origin and that of worldly pleasures as between their opposite effects, as you know by experience.

7. I said somewhere¹⁶² that the one seems only to touch the surface of the body, while the other penetrates to the very marrow: I believe this is correct, and I cannot express myself better. I fancy that you are not yet satisfied on this question, but are afraid of deception, for spiritual matters are very hard to explain. Enough, however, has been said for those who have received this grace, as the difference between divine union and any other is very striking. However, I will give you a clear proof which cannot mislead you, nor leave any doubt whether the favour comes from God or no. His Majesty brought it back to my memory this very day; it appears to me to be an unmistakable sign. In difficult questions, although I think I understand them and am speaking the truth, I always say ‘it appears to me’; for, in case my opinion is wrong, I am most willing to submit to the judgment of theologians. Although they may not have had personal experience in such matters, yet in some way I do not understand, God Who sets them to give light to His Church enables them to recognize the truth when it is put before them. If they are not thoughtless and indevout, but servants of God, they are never dismayed at His mighty works, knowing perfectly well that it is in His power to perform far greater wonders. If some of the marvels told are new to them, yet they have read of others of the same kind, showing the former to be possible. I have had great experience as to this and have also met with timid, half-instructed people whose ignorance has cost me very dear.¹⁶³ I am convinced that those who refuse to believe that God can do far more than this, and that He is pleased now, as in the past, to communicate Himself to His creatures, shut fast their hearts against receiving such favours themselves. Do not imitate them, sisters: be convinced that it is possible for God to perform still greater wonders. Do not concern yourselves as to whether those who receive these graces are good or wicked; as I said, He knows best and it is no business of yours: you should serve Him with a single heart and with humility, and should praise Him for His works and wonders.¹⁶⁴

8. Let us now speak of the sign which proves the prayer of union to have been genuine. As you have seen, God then deprives the soul of all its senses that He may the better imprint in it true wisdom: it neither sees, hears, nor understands anything while this state lasts, which is never more than a very brief time;¹⁶⁵ it appears to the soul to be much shorter than it really is. God visits the soul in a manner which prevents its doubting, on returning to itself, that it dwelt in Him and that He was within it, and so firmly is it convinced of this truth that, although years may pass before this favour recurs, the soul can never forget it nor doubt the fact,¹⁶⁶ setting aside the effects left by this prayer, to which I will refer later on. The conviction felt by the soul is the main point.

9. But, you may ask, how can a person who is incapable of sight and hearing see¹⁶⁷ or know these things? I do not say that she saw it at the time, but that she perceives it clearly afterwards, not by any vision but by a certitude which remains in the heart which God alone could give. I know of some one who was unaware of God’s being in all things by presence, power and essence, yet was firmly convinced of it by a divine favour of this sort.¹⁶⁸
   ’In every soul, even that of the greatest sinner in the world, God dwells and is substantially present. This way of union or presence of God, in the order of nature, subsists between Him and all His creatures; by this He preserves them in being, and if He withdraws it they immediately perish and cease to be. And so, when I speak of the union of the soul with God, I do not mean this substantial presence which is in every creature, but that union and transformation of the soul in God by love which is only then accomplished when there subsists the likeness which love begets.’ (St. John of the Cross, Ascent, bk. ii. ch. v. 3.)
   Fr. Gracian, Peregrinacion de Anastasio (Burgos, 1905), p. 171. She asked an ill-instructed priest of the kind I mentioned to tell her in what way God dwelt within us: he was as ignorant on the subject as she had been before our Lord revealed to her the truth, and answered that the Almighty was only present in us by grace.¹⁶⁹ Yet so strong was her conviction of the truth learnt during her prayer that she did not believe him and questioned other spiritual persons on the subject, who confirmed her in the true doctrine, much to her joy. Do not mistake and imagine that this certainty of God’s having visited the soul concerns any corporal presence such as that of our Lord Jesus Christ Who dwells in the Blessed Sacrament, although we do not see Him: it relates solely to the Divinity. If we did not see it, how can we feel so sure of it? That I do not know: it is the work of the Almighty and I am certain that what I say is the fact. I maintain that a soul which does not feel this assurance has not been united to God entirely, but only by one of its powers, or has received one of the many other favours God is accustomed to bestow on men. In all such matters we must not seek to know how things happened: our understanding could not grasp them, therefore why trouble ourselves on the subject? It is enough to know that it is He, the all-powerful God, Who has performed the work. We can do nothing on our own part to gain this favour; it comes from God alone; therefore let us not strive to understand it.

10. Concerning my words: ‘We can do nothing on our own part,’ I was struck by the words of the Bride in the Canticles, which you will remember to have heard: ’The King brought me into the cellar of wine,’¹⁷⁰ (or ‘placed me’ I think she says): she does not say she went of her own accord, although telling us how she wandered up and down seeking her Beloved.¹⁷¹ I think the prayer of union is the ‘cellar’ in which our Lord places us when and how He chooses, but we cannot enter it through any effort of our own. His Majesty alone can bring us there and come into the centre of our souls. In order to declare His wondrous works more clearly, He will leave us no share in them except complete conformity of our wills to His and abandonment of all things: He does not require the faculties or senses to open the door to Him; they are all asleep. He enters the innermost depths of our souls without a door, as He entered the room where the disciples sat, saying ‘Pax vobis,’¹⁷² and as He emerged from the sepulchre without removing the stone that closed the entrance. You will see farther on, in the seventh mansion, far better than here, how God makes the soul enjoy His presence in its very centre. O daughters, what wonders shall we see, if we keep ever before our eyes our own baseness and frailty and recognize how unworthy we are to be the handmaids of so great a Lord, Whose marvels are beyond our comprehension! May He be for ever praised! Amen.