第二章

本章描述天主向某人所揭示的「身陷大罪之靈魂」醜陋的樣貌；並就「自知之明」略加數言。本章值得細讀，因內含若干須留心的要點，並對「居所」加以說明。

1. 大罪的後果。 2. 大罪使靈魂無法積累功勞。 3. 把靈魂比作一棵樹。 4. 大罪中靈魂的失序。 5. 罪惡靈魂的神視。 6. 領悟這些教訓的好處。 7. 祈禱。 8. 城堡的美。 9. 自知之明。 10. 由默觀天主的完美而得的自知。 11. 此種默觀的好處。 12. 應以基督為榜樣。 13. 魔鬼如何陷害初學者。 14. 我們的力量必來自天主。 15. 罪使靈魂瞎眼。 16. 世俗心。 17. 入會後仍不離世俗。 18. 魔鬼的襲擊。 19. 魔鬼伎倆的實例。 20. 完美在於愛德。 21. 不智的熱心。 22. 中傷他人的危險。

1. 在繼續往下說之前，請妳們先想一想，大罪⁴⁶會把這座宏偉美麗的城堡——這顆東方的明珠、這棵植於生命活水旁的生命樹（生命活水正是天主自己的象徵）⁴⁷——拖入怎樣的境地。再黑的夜、再深的陰沉與墨黑，都比不上它的幽暗。一句話：那賦予靈魂如此光彩與美麗、原居中央的太陽，已徹底蝕沒；雖說人的精神本就如水晶之能映日，原是為享有天主臨在而造的。⁴⁸

2. 當靈魂處於大罪之中時，沒有任何事物對它有益；它一切的善工都不配得永生的賞報，因為這些善工並非以天主為根源；唯有以天主為本，我們的德行才是真實的德行。脫離天主的靈魂不再蒙祂悅納，因為犯大罪時，它不再想討天主歡心，反願取悅黑暗之君魔鬼，於是同他一道分受那份黑暗。我認識一個人，吾主曾向她揭示一椿大罪的後果，⁴⁹她說：凡領悟過大罪後果的人，必然永不犯它，寧可承受難以想像的折磨也要躲開。那神視使她極盼眾人都明白此理；因此我懇求妳們，我的女兒們，要為罪人熱切祈求天主——他們活在盲目中，行的是黑暗的事。

3. 處於恩寵狀態的靈魂，宛如一口清澈的井，所湧出的盡是水晶般透亮的細流。它的善工蒙天主與世人共喜，是從生命之河中升起的——它正如一棵樹，紮根河畔。若離了這河，它就不長葉、不結果；唯有恩寵的水滋養它，使它不致旱枯，能結出佳美的果子。可是靈魂一旦犯罪，便脫離了這生命的水流；長在又黑又臭的泥塘邊，所結出的就只能是噁心、有害的果子。

請注意，失去光彩美麗的並不是那泉源、那燦爛的太陽，因為它們安置於靈魂的最中心，光輝無人能奪。失光的是靈魂自己——它就像陽光下的一塊水晶，被人覆上厚厚的黑布；陽光再亮，這塊水晶也再無法反射。

4. 蒙耶穌基督寶血所救贖的靈魂啊，請將這些事銘記於心，疼惜妳們自己吧！若認清了自己可憐的處境，怎能不去試著拭去靈魂水晶上的黑布？要記得，若此刻死亡降臨，妳們將永遠再見不到這太陽的光。耶穌啊！失去光的靈魂，是何等可悲的景象！這座城堡的房間又是何等慘狀！住在城堡裡的「居民」（諸感官）、城堡的「行政官、統治者、管家」（諸靈魂機能）已是盲目失控、毫無秩序了！說到底，這棵樹現在所植的土壤已落在魔鬼的疆域，所結的果子怎麼可能不是惡的？曾有一位深具靈修見識的人對我說：他並不驚訝這種靈魂行出種種惡事，倒驚訝它居然還沒犯下更可怕的罪。願仁慈的天主保守我們脫離這樣巨大的惡，因為今生再沒有什麼能與「將我們交給永遠的惡」相比、更配稱為「惡」了。

5. 我們所該怕、所該求天主救我們脫離的，正是這事；因為我們本身就是軟弱本身，若非祂親自看守這城，我們縱使勞苦守衛，也是枉然。⁵⁰方才所說的那個人⁵¹說，她從蒙賜的神視中學到了兩件事。第一，深怕得罪天主——眼見後果如此可怕，她不住地懇求主使她不墮入罪中。第二，那神視像一面鏡子，教她謙卑，因為她看清：我們身上凡屬好的，沒有一樣源自自己，盡都來自恩寵之水（靈魂正如河畔的樹，緊靠在這活水旁），來自那賦予我們所行善工以生命的太陽。她領悟得如此真切，每見自己或他人行了什麼善事，便立刻轉向天主這源頭——她深知，沒有祂的扶助，我們什麼也做不來——於是放聲讚頌祂。一般而言，她做任何有功德的事時，總是把自己忘了，心思只放在天主身上。

6. 倘若這篇讀寫能讓我們學到這兩條真理，所花的工夫便不算白費；雖說學問淵博的男士早已通透此理，但女人的腦筋遲鈍，方方面面都需要幫忙。或許這正是吾主之所以把這些比喻啟示給我的緣故；願祂賜下恩寵，使我們能從中得益！

7. 屬靈的事如此晦暗難明，像我這般無知的人要解釋它們，往往得在切入正題前說許多多餘、甚至離題的話。請讀者耐心待我，正如我寫這些自己也不全懂的東西時，得耐心待自己一樣；說真的，我常像個呆頭呆腦的人拿起筆，不知該說什麼，也不知從何起頭。然而，我之所以該盡力把這些屬靈的事向妳們說明，自有其必要：我們時常聽人講祈禱對靈魂多麼有益；《會憲》要求我們每天祈禱許多時辰，卻沒告訴我們在祈禱中可盡何種本份，也鮮少提及天主藉祈禱在靈魂內所行的工作。⁵²因此，從各個角度向妳們呈現這座位於我們內裡的天上居所，是有幫助的——人們儘管時常與它擦身而過，卻對它知之甚少。從前寫這類題目時，吾主已賜我恩寵，使我略知其中一二；如今我覺得自己有了更多光照，尤其在較難的問題上。可惜我見識淺薄，講述這些題目時，免不了重述許多眾人早已熟知的話。

8. 我們終於可以回到擁有諸多居所的城堡了。妳們別把它想成一連串並排的房間，要把目光定在主堡，定在國王所居的宮殿。⁵³就像棕櫚心，⁵⁴得剝去一層又一層才能到達可食的果心；這間主室也被許多房間環繞。妳們儘管把這城堡想得多大、多富麗、多寬敞，都不算誇張——靈魂的容量超乎我們的領悟，而王宮中央的那輪太陽，照亮了它的每一寸。

9. 一個獻身於祈禱的靈魂，無論多寡，絕不該被困在狹小的範圍內。既然天主已賜它如此的尊嚴，就讓它在城堡的諸房間裡來去自如，從最底層直到最高處。也別硬要它長時間滯留同一間居所——即便是「自知之明」之屋也不例外。但要切記：自知之明是不可或缺的；即便天主已把人接進與祂同居的那一間，仍然如此。沒有別的事物——不論有多崇高——能使靈魂臻於完美；它絕不可遺忘自己的虛無。要讓謙卑像蜂在巢中那樣不斷工作，否則一切都將失喪。但別忘了，蜜蜂也會離開蜂巢，飛去採花；靈魂同樣有時該放下對自己的關注，騰升起來默觀天主的崇高與威嚴。如此認識自己的卑微，反而比一味自我審視更深刻，也更能擺脫那些鑽進「自知之屋」（也就是首間居所）的爬蟲。雖然「自我反省」是天主賜下的大恩，但俗話說：「過猶不及。」相信我，靠著天主的扶助，「默觀天主的神性」遠比「死盯著自己這可憐的塵世受造物」更能使我們長進。

10. 我不知道自己有沒有講清楚：自知之明是如此重要，即使祈禱時妳被舉到天上，我也不願妳對它掉以輕心；因為在世時，沒有什麼比謙卑更要緊。所以我再說一遍：先從操練謙卑的那間入口進入，不僅是一條好路，更是最好的一條路，遠勝於一頭栽進別的房間。這才是正路——既然知道走這條路又安全又容易，何必還求翅膀去飛？倒不如學如何在這條路上快走。我相信，除非努力認識天主，我們永遠無法真正認識自己；因為瞻仰祂的偉大，我們才驚覺自己的卑微；祂的潔淨顯出我們的污穢；默想祂的謙卑，我們才發現自己離謙卑有多遠。

11. 這樣做有兩個好處。其一，白色擺在黑色旁邊，顯得更白；反之亦然，黑色擺在白色旁時，方顯其至黑。其二，當我們從自己轉向天主，理智與意志便在各方面變得更高尚、更能行善——若永遠不把心思從自身過錯的泥淖中抬起，是極為有害的。前面我描述過，犯了大罪之靈魂的源頭所湧出的水流，是何等混濁惡臭。⁵⁵因此（雖然兩者並不真的相同——願天主不准！這只是一個比喻），若我們始終耽溺於思索塵世本性的軟弱，行動的源頭就永遠脫不開那些怯懦、軟弱、膽小念頭的泥沼，例如：「不知別人有沒有在看我？這樣做會不會招來壞處？我敢著手這件事嗎？會不會太自不量力？像我這樣有過錯的人，能談這麼崇高的屬靈題目嗎？⁵⁶我若顯得與眾不同，別人會不會把我看得太好？凡事過猶不及，連在德行上也是；像我這般有罪的人，反而會跌得更低。我恐怕還會失敗，反成為善人的絆腳石；像我這樣的人，何必特立獨行？」

12. 唉，我的女兒們，魔鬼用這類念頭，讓多少靈魂遭受了多大的虧損！這種人還以為這些念頭——以及我可以再列舉的許多同類想法——是出於謙卑。這正源自我們不認識自己的本性；自知之明被扭曲到如此地步，難怪這些憂懼、乃至更糟的憂懼會纏上我們；除非我們把心思從自己身上挪開。所以，我的女兒們，我堅持要把目光定在我們唯一的善——基督，以及祂的諸聖身上；在那裡，我們才能學到真正的謙卑，理智也會被提升起來，使「自知之明」不再使我們卑屈怯懦。這雖只是第一重居所，卻已蘊藏巨富與寶藏；只要靈魂能避開這裡的爬蟲，便不能不繼續前進。魔鬼為阻止人覺察自身的軟弱、識破他的圈套，所用的詭計與謀略，著實可怕。

13. 憑著親身經驗，我可以告訴妳們許多在這幾間「第一重居所」裡發生的事。我只想說：別以為房間只有寥寥幾間，其實為數眾多；靈魂藉著各種不同的途徑進來，而且總是出於善意。魔鬼為此大為震怒，便在每間房裡藏下成群惡靈，要攔阻基督徒的長進；基督徒對此渾然不覺，便被他用千百種方法套住。對住得離國王較近的靈魂，他騙不了那麼容易；對仍埋首於世俗、沉溺於世樂、渴慕世間榮譽與名位的初學者，他卻得心應手。這些初學者靈魂裡的「臣子」——天主賜下的諸感官與機能——本就脆弱，所以雖不願得罪天主，仍易被擊敗。

14. 自覺處於此境的人，必須時時投奔至尊陛下，並以聖母和諸聖為自己的代禱者，請他們替自己出戰；因為我們這些受造物，毫無自衛的力量。事實上，無論身處哪一階段，我們所有的幫助都必須來自天主；願祂憐憫，賜下這份扶助。阿們！我們過著多麼可憐的日子！至於忽視謙卑與自知之明所招致的禍患，我已在別處的書中詳述過，⁵⁷這裡就不再贅言；雖然這是頭等要緊的事。我的女兒們，願天主使我所說的話對妳們有所裨益。

15. 妳們必須留意：來自王宮的光，在這幾間第一重居所裡幾乎照不進來；它們雖不像處於大罪中的靈魂那般陰晦黝黑，卻仍處於半幽暗之中，住在其中的人幾乎看不見什麼。我不太能說清楚——並不是說這是居所本身的錯，而是城堡外那一群群蟒、蝮、毒蟲，攔阻了進屋的靈魂見光。這就像一個人走進一間陽光四射的房間，眼裡塞滿塵土、瞇著眼睛——房間本身明亮，可他自己設了障礙，所以看不見。同樣，這些兇猛的野獸蒙蔽了初學者的雙眼，叫他除了它們之外，什麼也看不見。

16. 在我看來，這正是那種雖未陷於大罪、卻深染世俗、滿腦子都是塵世財富、榮耀與事務的靈魂；正如前面所說，即便它真心想走入內裡、領略城堡的美麗，這些紛擾仍會擋住它，使它似無力越過如此多的障礙。要進入第二重居所，最要緊的就是放下一切不必要的牽絆與雜務，當然要顧及自己生活身分上應盡的本份。這件事如此關鍵，若不立刻去做，我相信誰也到不了主室；甚至原地不動，也很難不冒著失去既得進步的大風險。否則的話，他雖在城堡之內，遲早仍躲不過被身旁那些劇毒的蟲類咬上一口。

17. 我的女兒們，倘若像我們這樣的修道人，已掙脫了上述種種牽絆，且早已走進更內裡、更隱密的居所，竟因自己的過失重回那些紛擾，那會落得怎樣的下場？她的罪會牽連許多原本蒙天主重重恩賜的人，使他們有罪地重墮可悲之境。在我們的修院裡，這類外在的惡固然已遠離我們；願天主使我們的心思也同樣遠離它們，並救我們脫離這些禍患。

18. 我的女兒們，別讓那些與妳無關的事擾亂自己。妳們要注意：與惡魔的搏鬥幾乎貫穿這座城堡的每一重居所。沒錯，有些居所裡，前面所說充當守衛的「靈魂諸機能」已具備作戰的力量；但我們仍須敏銳警覺魔鬼的伎倆，免得他化作光明天使來騙我們。他會用數不清的方式悄然潛入，給我們造成極大的傷害；等我們察覺，多半為時已晚。⁵⁸

19. 正如我在別處所說，⁵⁹魔鬼的工作就像一把銼刀，無聲無息地一點一點磨。我來舉幾個例子，看他怎麼下手：譬如，有位修女渴慕補贖，若不以某種方式折磨自己便不得安寧。⁶⁰這原本是好事；可是假如院長已禁止她未獲特別許可不得苦行，這位修女卻自以為「為這麼有功德的事，違命也無妨」，便偷偷過著那樣的生活，結果搞壞身體，連會規所要求的本份都做不來——這顆「為善」之心，最終竟是這樣的下場。又比如，另一位修女對「修道的圓滿」極為熱切；這本是好事，卻可能使她把姐妹們的小過看成大罪，並時時盯著她們是否做錯，好跑去向院長告狀。她也許因太熱衷於別人的修道紀律，竟從不察覺自己的缺點；她的姐妹們看不到她真正的用意，只感受到她緊盯不放的目光，自然不會領這份情。

20. 魔鬼在此處的主要目的，是使修女彼此間的愛德冷卻、姊妹情誼淡薄；這對她們會造成嚴重傷害。我的女兒們，務必確信：真正的圓滿就在於愛天主和愛近人；我們把這兩條誡命守得越好，就越臻圓滿。我們的會規與會憲，唯一的目的就是幫助我們守好這兩條法律。

21. 不要放任自己對他人過度熱心，那對我們自己反而傷害很大；各人先管好自己。我已在別處詳論過這話題，⁶¹此處就不多說了，只懇求妳們牢記這份相互友愛的必要。若我們老是挑剔別人的雞毛蒜皮（往往那根本不是真的缺失，只因不明白動機而錯解），不僅自己的靈魂會失去平安，連帶也會擾亂別人。要達到圓滿，要付出多少代價啊！有時魔鬼也會藉此誘引修女去議論院長，那就更危險。此時必須極為謹慎：若院長違反會規或會憲，事情不該一概放過，應私下向她提及；⁶²若提後她仍不改正，便該向會長稟報。在這種情形下出聲是真愛德——正如見到姊妹犯了重大過失時也該出聲一樣；若因怕「開口違反愛德」而緘默，本身才是真正的試探。⁶³

22. 不過我必須鄭重警告妳們：別彼此談論這類事，免得被魔鬼所欺。妳們若這麼做，他將大有所獲，因為這會養成「中傷他人」的惡習。所以，前面說過：要把事情陳述給有責任處理的人。感謝天主，我們此處幾乎全日靜默的家規，使這類交談難以發生；儘管如此，仍當常常警醒。

DESCRIBES THE HIDEOUS APPEARANCE OF A SOUL IN MORTAL SIN AS REVEALED BY GOD TO SOME ONE: OFFERS A FEW REMARKS ON SELF-KNOWLEDGE: THIS CHAPTER IS USEFUL AS IT CONTAINS SOME POINTS REQUIRING ATTENTION. AN EXPLANATION OF THE MANSIONS.

1. Effects of mortal sin. 2. It prevents the soul’s gaining merit. 3. The soul compared to a tree. 4. Disorder of the soul in mortal sin. 5. Vision of a sinful soul. 6. Profit of realizing these lessons. 7. Prayer. 8. Beauty of the Castle. 9. Self-knowledge 10. Gained by meditating on the divine perfections. 11. Advantages of such meditation. 12. Christ should be our model. 13. The devil entraps beginners. 14. Our strength must come from God. 15. Sin blinds the soul. 16. Worldliness. 17. The world in the cloister. 18. Assaults of the devil. 19. Examples of the devil’s arts. 20. Perfection consists in charity. 21. Indiscreet zeal. 22. Danger of detraction.

1. BEFORE going farther, I wish you to consider the state to which mortal sin⁴⁶ brings this magnificent and beautiful castle, this pearl of the East, this tree of life, planted beside the living waters of life⁴⁷ which symbolize God Himself. No night can be so dark, no gloom nor blackness can compare to its obscurity. Suffice it to say that the sun in the centre of the soul, which gave it such splendour and beauty, is totally eclipsed, though the spirit is as fitted to enjoy God’s presence as is the crystal to reflect the sun.⁴⁸

2. While the soul is in mortal sin nothing can profit it; none of its good works merit an eternal reward, since they do not proceed from God as their first principle, and by Him alone is our virtue real virtue. The soul separated from Him is no longer pleasing in His eyes, because by committing a mortal sin, instead of seeking to please God, it prefers to gratify the devil, the prince of darkness, and so comes to share his blackness. I knew a person to whom our Lord revealed the result of a mortal sin⁴⁹ and who said she thought no one who realized its effects could ever commit it, but would suffer unimaginable torments to avoid it. This vision made her very desirous for all to grasp this truth, therefore I beg you, my daughters, to pray fervently to God for sinners, who live in blindness and do deeds of darkness.

3. In a state of grace the soul is like a well of limpid water, from which flow only streams of clearest crystal. Its works are pleasing both to God and man, rising from the River of Life, beside which it is rooted like a tree. Otherwise it would produce neither leaves nor fruit, for the waters of grace nourish it, keep it from withering from drought, and cause it to bring forth good fruit. But the soul by sinning withdraws from this stream of life, and growing beside a black and fetid pool, can produce nothing but disgusting and unwholesome fruit.

Notice that it is not the fountain and the brilliant sun which lose their splendour and beauty, for they are placed in the very centre of the soul and cannot be deprived of their lustre. The soul is like a crystal in the sunshine over which a thick black cloth has been thrown, so that however brightly the sun may shine the crystal can never reflect it.

4. O souls, redeemed by the Blood of Jesus Christ, take these things to heart; have mercy on yourselves! If you realize your pitiable condition, how can you refrain from trying to remove the darkness from the crystal of your souls? Remember, if death should take you now, you would never again enjoy the light of this Sun. O Jesus! how sad a sight must be a soul deprived of light! What a terrible state the chambers of this castle are in! How disorderly must be the senses—the inhabitants of the castle—the powers of the soul its magistrates, governors, and stewards—blind and uncontrolled as they are! In short, as the soil in which the tree is now planted is in the devil’s domain, how can its fruit be anything but evil? A man of great spiritual insight once told me he was not so much surprised at such a soul’s wicked deeds as astonished that it did not commit even worse sins. May God in His mercy keep us from such great evil, for nothing in this life merits the name of evil in comparison with this, which delivers us over to evil which is eternal.

5. This is what we must dread and pray God to deliver us from, for we are weakness itself, and unless He guards the city, in vain shall we labour to defend it.⁵⁰ The person of whom I spoke⁵¹ said that she had learnt two things from the vision granted her. The first was, a great fear of offending God; seeing how terrible were the consequences, she constantly begged Him to preserve her from falling into sin. Secondly, it was a mirror to teach her humility, for she saw that nothing good in us springs from ourselves but comes from the waters of grace near which the soul remains like a tree planted beside a river, and from that Sun which gives life to our works. She realized this so vividly that on seeing any good deed performed by herself or by other people she at once turned to God as to its fountain head—without whose help she knew well we can do nothing—and broke out into songs of praise to Him. Generally she forgot all about herself and only thought of God when she did any meritorious action.

6. The time which has been spent in reading or writing on this subject will not have been lost if it has taught us these two truths; for though learned, clever men know them perfectly, women’s wits are dull and need help in every way. Perhaps this is why our Lord has suggested these comparisons to me; may He give us grace to profit by them!

7. So obscure are these spiritual matters that to explain them an ignorant person like myself must say much that is superfluous, and even alien to the subject, before coming to the point. My readers must be patient with me, as I am with myself while writing what I do not understand; indeed, I often take up the paper like a dunce, not knowing what to say, nor how to begin. Doubtless there is need for me to do my best to explain these spiritual subjects to you, for we often hear how beneficial prayer is for our souls; our Constitutions oblige us to pray so many hours a day, yet tell us nothing of what part we ourselves can take in it and very little of the work God does in the soul by its means.⁵² It will be helpful, in setting it before you in various ways, to consider this heavenly edifice within us, so little understood by men, near as they often come to it. Our Lord gave me grace to understand something of such matters when I wrote on them before, yet I think I have more light now, especially on the more difficult questions. Unfortunately I am too ignorant to treat of such subjects without saying much that is already well known.

8. Now let us turn at last to our castle with its many mansions. You must not think of a suite of rooms placed in succession, but fix your eyes on the keep, the court inhabited by the King.⁵³ Like the kernel of the palmito,⁵⁴ from which several rinds must be removed before coming to the eatable part, this principal chamber is surrounded by many others. However large, magnificent, and spacious you imagine this castle to be, you cannot exaggerate it; the capacity of the soul is beyond all our understanding, and the Sun within this palace enlightens every part of it.

9. A soul which gives itself to prayer, either much or little, should on no account be kept within narrow bounds. Since God has given it such great dignity, permit it to wander at will through the rooms of the castle, from the lowest to the highest. Let it not force itself to remain for very long in the same mansion, even that of self-knowledge. Mark well, however, that self-knowledge is indispensable, even for those whom God takes to dwell in the same mansion with Himself. Nothing else, however elevated, perfects the soul which must never seek to forget its own nothingness. Let humility be always at work, like the bee at the honeycomb, or all will be lost. But, remember, the bee leaves its hive to fly in search of flowers and the soul should sometimes cease thinking of itself to rise in meditation on the grandeur and majesty of its God. It will learn its own baseness better thus than by self-contemplation, and will be freer from the reptiles which enter the first room where self-knowledge is acquired. Although it is a great grace from God to practise self-examination, yet ‘too much is as bad as too little,’ as they say; believe me, by God’s help, we shall advance more by contemplating the Divinity than by keeping our eyes fixed on ourselves, poor creatures of earth that we are.

10. I do not know whether I have put this clearly; self-knowledge is of such consequence that I would not have you careless of it, though you may be lifted to heaven in prayer, because while on earth nothing is more needful than humility. Therefore, I repeat, not only a good way, but the best of all ways, is to endeavour to enter first by the room where humility is practised, which is far better than at once rushing on to the others. This is the right road;—if we know how easy and safe it is to walk by it, why ask for wings with which to fly? Let us rather try to learn how to advance quickly. I believe we shall never learn to know ourselves except by endeavouring to know God, for, beholding His greatness we are struck by our own baseness, His purity shows our foulness, and by meditating on His humility we find how very far we are from being humble.

11. Two advantages are gained by this practice. First, it is clear that white looks far whiter when placed near something black, and on the contrary, black never looks so dark as when seen beside something white. Secondly, our understanding and will become more noble and capable of good in every way when we turn from ourselves to God: it is very injurious never to raise our minds above the mire of our own faults. I described how murky and fetid are the streams that spring from the source of a soul in mortal sin.⁵⁵ Thus (although the case is not really the same, God forbid! this is only a comparison), while we are continually absorbed in contemplating the weakness of our earthly nature, the springs of our actions will never flow free from the mire of timid, weak, and cowardly thoughts, such as: ‘I wonder whether people are noticing me or not! If I follow this course, will harm come to me? Dare I begin this work? Would it not be presumptuous? Is it right for any one as faulty as myself to speak on sublime spiritual subjects?⁵⁶ Will not people think too well of me, if I make myself singular? Extremes are bad, even in virtue; sinful as I am I shall only fall the lower. Perhaps I shall fail and be a source of scandal to good people; such a person as I am has no need of peculiarities.’

12. Alas, my daughters, what loss the devil must have caused to many a soul by such thoughts as these! It thinks such ideas and many others of the same sort I could mention arise from humility. This comes from not understanding our own nature; self-knowledge becomes so warped that, unless we take our thoughts off ourselves, I am not surprised that these and many worse fears should threaten us. Therefore I maintain, my daughters, that we should fix our eyes on Christ our only good, and on His saints; there we shall learn true humility, and our minds will be ennobled, so that self-knowledge will not make us base and cowardly. Although only the first, this mansion contains great riches and such treasures that if the soul only manages to elude the reptiles dwelling here, it cannot fail to advance farther. Terrible are the wiles and stratagems the devil uses to hinder people from realizing their weakness and detecting his snares.

13. From personal experience I could give you much information as to what happens in these first mansions. I will only say that you must not imagine there are only a few, but a number of rooms, for souls enter them by many different ways, and always with a good intention. The devil is so angry at this that he keeps legions of evil spirits hidden in each room to stop the progress of Christians, whom, being ignorant of this, he entraps in a thousand ways. He cannot so easily deceive souls which dwell nearer to the King as he can beginners still absorbed in the world, immersed in its pleasures, and eager for its honours and distinctions. As the vassals of their souls, the senses and powers bestowed on them by God, are weak, such people are easily vanquished, although desirous not to offend God.

14. Those conscious of being in this state must as often as possible have recourse to His Majesty, taking His Blessed Mother and the saints for their advocates to do battle for them, because we creatures possess little strength for self-defence. Indeed in every state of life all our help must come from God; may He in His mercy grant it us, Amen! What a miserable life we lead! As I have spoken more fully in other writings⁵⁷ on the ill that results from ignoring the need of humility and self-knowledge, I will treat no more about it here, my daughters, although it is of the first importance. God grant that what I have said may be useful to you.

15 You must notice that the light which comes from the King’s palace hardly shines at all in these first mansions; although not as gloomy and black as the soul in mortal sin, yet they are in semi-darkness, and their inhabitants see scarcely anything. I cannot explain myself; I do not mean that this is the fault of the mansions themselves, but that the number of snakes, vipers, and venomous reptiles from outside the castle prevent souls entering them from seeing the light. They resemble a person entering a chamber full of brilliant sunshine, with eyes clogged and half closed with dust. Though the room itself is light, he cannot see because of his self-imposed impediment. In the same way, these fierce and wild beasts blind the eyes of the beginner, so that he sees nothing but them.

16. Such, it appears to me, is the soul which, though not in a state of mortal sin, is so worldly and preoccupied with earthly riches, honours, and affairs, that as I said, even if it sincerely wishes to enter into itself and enjoy the beauties of the castle, it is prevented by these distractions and seems unable to overcome so many obstacles. It is most important to withdraw from all unnecessary cares and business, as far as compatible with the duties of one’s state of life, in order to enter the second mansion. This is so essential, that unless done immediately I think it impossible for any one ever to reach the principal room, or even to remain where he is without great risk of losing what is already gained; otherwise, although he is inside the castle, he will find it impossible to avoid being bitten some time or other by some of the very venomous creatures surrounding him.

17. What then would become of a religious like ourselves, my daughters, if, after having escaped from all these impediments, and having entered much farther into the more secret mansion, she should, by her own fault, return to all this turmoil? Through her sins, many other people on whom God had bestowed great graces would culpably relapse into their wretched state. In our convents we are free from these exterior evils; please God our minds may be as free from them, and may He deliver us from such ills.

18. Do not trouble yourselves, my daughters, with cares which do not concern you. You must notice that the struggle with the demons continues through nearly all the mansions of this castle. True, in some of them, the guards, which, as I explained, are the powers of the soul, have strength for the combat, but we must be keenly on the watch against the devils’s arts, lest he deceive us in the form of an angel of light. He creeps in gradually, in numberless ways, and does us much harm, though we do not discover it until too late.⁵⁸

19. As I said elsewhere,⁵⁹ he works like a file, secretly and silently wearing its way: I will give you some examples to show how he begins his wiles. For instance: a nun has such a longing for penance as to feel no peace unless she is tormenting herself in some way.⁶⁰ This is good in itself; but suppose that the Prioress has forbidden her to practise any mortifications without special leave, and the sister thinking that, in such a meritorious cause, she may venture to disobey, secretly leads such a life that she loses her health and cannot even fulfil the requirements of her rule—you see how this show of good ends. Another nun is very zealous about religious perfection; this is very right, but may cause her to think every small fault she sees in her sisters a serious crime, and to watch constantly whether they do anything wrong, that she may run to the Prioress to accuse them of it. At the same time, may be she never notices her own shortcomings because of her great zeal about other people’s religious observance, while perhaps her sisters, not seeing her intention but only knowing of the watch she keeps on them, do not take her behaviour in good part.

20. The devil’s chief aim here is to cool the charity and lessen the mutual affection of the nuns, which would injure them seriously. Be sure, my daughters, that true perfection consists in the love of God and our neighbour, and the better we keep both these commandments, the more perfect we shall be. The sole object of our Rule and Constitutions is to help us to observe these two laws.

21. Indiscreet zeal about others must not be indulged in; it may do us much harm; let each one look to herself. However, as I have spoken fully on this subject elsewhere,⁶¹ I will not enlarge on it here, and will only beg you to remember the necessity of this mutual affection. Our souls may lose their peace and even disturb other people’s if we are always criticizing trivial actions which often are not real defects at all, but we construe them wrongly through ignorance of their motives. See how much it costs to attain perfection! Sometimes the devil tempts nuns in this way about the Prioress, which is still more dangerous. Great prudence is then required, for if she disobeys the Rule or Constitutions the matter must not always be overlooked, but should be mentioned to her;⁶² if, after this, she does not amend, the Superior of the Order should be informed of it. It is true charity to speak in this case, as it would be if we saw our sisters commit a grave fault; to keep silence for fear that speech would be a temptation against charity, would be that very temptation itself.⁶³

22. However, I must warn you seriously not to talk to each other about such things, lest the devil deceive you. He would gain greatly by your doing so, because it would lead to the habit of detraction; rather, as I said, state the matter to those whose duty it is to remedy it. Thank God our custom here of keeping almost perpetual silence gives little opportunity for such conversations, still, it is well to stand ever on our guard.